We ate at a restaurant last night with our five young kiddos while on a weekend getaway to celebrate our son Asher’s birthday. This big city trip has been full of excitement—and totally overstimulating—for our sweet, country-regulated crew.
Dinner was no exception. The restaurant was loud and bustling, and after a full day at the petting zoo, our kids were running on fumes. Thus the peanut fights and an impromptu game of “chase and wrestle” between our two youngsters—right in the aisle beside our table. (Cue the amused looks from nearby diners.)
Now, I had a few options:
- Force them to stay seated and threaten consequences in a stern whisper.
- Call it quits and leave abruptly with a frustrated, “That’s it—we’re done. You don’t deserve this dinner.”
- Or… I could take a deep breath, let it slide for the moment, and redirect them gently—choosing to laugh a little, breathe a lot, and enjoy the dinner anyway.
This time, I chose option 3. But I haven’t always.
There have been plenty of moments when embarrassment—the fear of being judged as a “bad mom” with “wild kids”—influenced my parenting in ways I regret.
I’m not advocating for being careless or inconsiderate of others. But I am learning not to let the fear of what others think keep me from offering grace in stressful, overstimulating moments.
That’s why my word for this trip is: extravagant grace.
Grace sees past the behavior and recognizes what’s going on underneath. Grace knows that boundaries still matter, but also that flexibility is sometimes the wisest choice. Grace whispers, “They’re not being bad. They’re having a hard time.”
And extravagant grace? It’s not just for our kids—it’s for us, too.
Because we get overwhelmed.
We get triggered.
We mess up.
And we need the same kind of grace Jesus extends to us—without limit.
So let’s let go of the pressure to be perfect parents on a picture-perfect vacation. Let’s embrace the real joy of raising a family, even if it includes peanut fights and aisle wrestling now and then.
Are you longing for more peace in your parenting?
I’d love to invite you into Listening Hearts Family Coaching—a space where you can uncover what’s fueling your reactions, learn to parent with calm and connection, and begin to experience joy in your relationship with your kids.
You don’t have to do this alone. Let’s walk the journey together—with grace.
